Senin, 24 Juni 2013

i miss this feels. i feel no stupid things to think. its been along time i think, i didnt feel like this. i miss my past so much but that was kinda wasting time.. i have to move towars. weirdo you know, when you feel like you're on the right position all days, but in fact, you're totally in danger. that's what i feel in this first year of high school. i loved it, i like my friends,my class,the teachers is.. yaa not bad, the schools also. But i dont know, i dont like the situation at all, not because i'm in x1 which they said, the highest rated.. i didnt feel it too haha, they're damn smart i know but thats not the point here. the point is, i hatee my self before, i hate why my position is not like them. nor save at all like them which we're on the same way,same mind that time. i know you wont understand. neither am i.... haha-_-. pokoknya gue suka masa2 sma ini sebenernya, gue cinta lopelope banget sama kelas gue. tapi gue gasuka posisi gue, itu kayak semacam kurang enak lah.... apa karna sugesti gue. if idont mind, i would like to say im sooo would like to move from that school, mungkin gue gak cocok di negri dimana kita harus berjuang sendiri semuanya tapi bukan itu ternyata. gue tau sekarang, GUE KURANG CUEK. yes.... gue terlalu memikirikan hal hal negatif yang cuma akhirnya bikin gue stress.... tapi itu semua udah berakhir lah:") sekarang gue udah berubah INSYA ALLAH hehe... i have to move on and be who i'am.... cita2 gue udah sangat menanti... gaada lagi waktunya sedih2 mikirin kelas apa nantilah, atau apalah... i got science class.. that's really amazing for me... sekarang serius gue udah gabisa sedih lagi rasanya:") smile sah.... udah lama gak liat lu senyum;)
smile sah
21.34

smile sah

Selasa, 11 Juni 2013

life is too hard, when im trying to keep my self in the save area. Situations underesetimate me and kick me out. But now when im out, situations straching me down. What do you want from me?...im just a first year senior higschool girl what do you expect?. Gue baru sadar, gue udah melakukam terlalu banyak kesalaham sama kekhilafan yg disengaja. Gue gak mikir banget. Allah udah ngasih segini banyak nikmat buat gue tapi gue nya,still went sad with my own fault that i wont blame my self with it. My dad word lastnight was shaking me DAMN real. Im not really remember all of it but the point is "we should let everythig happen it self by smiling, if something bad happen... we cant do anything,why scared?... and in my school case. We have to see the result, not the thing that just happen amd we regret it too much. Now..... i wont be sad again EVER. I dont care what youll said about my score... i do that with my own ability and effort.... i should be sooooo damn proud. Gue gak peduli masuk ipa berapa aja nanti, priority is always science 1 but God know what's the best for me.... Allah is soooo kind:")

IM CHANGE
09.26

IM CHANGE

Sabtu, 01 Juni 2013

Last Final or whatever okay UKK. ujian kenaikan kelas

that word,is pretty serious statemen for me. well know im a senior high school first year
that will move to the next year. Penjurusan... i bettter do an harry potter owl text. divergent aptitute test than this hahaha engga juga ding. i've been trough a pretty hard time these year, banyak hal yang gak pernah gue duga terjadi sekarang.. sma ini ga semudah yang keliatannya di tv... but now is, where should i start. ini bakal jadi awal baru. belajar gue harua santai tapi paham, sekarang. i dont care anymorw about what they'll said.. im scared my self already. this is scary ya Allah, but i have to past this.. please stay with me ya Allah:"3...

UKK
10.30

UKK

Sabtu, 18 Mei 2013

Guitar im still stuck here for you-__-
00.45

Guitar im still stuck here for you-__-

The day is actually nicer... even i can feel that the position of me is not too save. I wanna be with them. Thats the point. And em,i wish i was.. you know... think about this since the beginning.. okay i wont let my tears drop so forget that. On my head right now is, i dont have to push that harsh. But i have to be focus. I have one last chance. Last chance to got the best i wish. God know the best for me. I knew that. This is hard, i know. Specially for me. But there i can see something that i hope making me betteer. Bismillahirrahmanirrahim......

Okay
00.42

Okay

Kamis, 09 Mei 2013

i got a nice day that day.. i thought.. but in the edge of the day i got a shit paper than change everything that moment. hasil psikotest saran penjurusan. that moment i forgot to think "saran" words.. cause the situation suddenly went out crazy. i got the words that i dont want. my head start to blowned up. i cant think again. my tears went out by them self..... that's the most sad moment i've felt i guess. gue gak mungkin dapet dan masuk jurusan itu. gue tau. gue gak berfikir itu masih saran dan masih ada kesempatan rapot... gue gabisa mikir saat itu. rasanya gue mau obrak abrik semua yang ada diepaan gue.apalagi guru bk sekolah yang kata2nya astaghfirullah nyakitin:" i wont see him again. this is actually just gonna be fine. but i dont know:(... but now i know God have an amazing plan for me... i should STUDY HARDDDDDDD TO THE DEATH now i know that... i'll just enjoy this.. and guess what.. this morning i got some breaking damn news again... tapi sudahlah meskipun gue anggap ini rushed week for me. this is the beginning of everything amazing in my life:). ya Allah you still there with me isnt?:"....
how can i pretend that i dont know whats going on
05.00

how can i pretend that i dont know whats going on

Jumat, 19 April 2013

Okay, i've been in a hard day today. Hearing that those sh*t betrayer, how could they do that to yangti? Ini bikin gue bukan naik darah lagi. Gak sinkron udah hati,mulut sama kepala. Tapi setelah seharian yg penuh emosi gue sadar.. those backstabber are not just for teenagers world, an many sin adult like them got it too.. sorry if i cant control my word:( im just soo much much dissapointed. Astaghfirullah... then those backstabber at my OWN big family come again:"3, i totally know they dont like my laziness and my messy house, but they DONT KNOW how extraordinary is my house... im not and cannot be crying facing this day.. my tears are like.. gak sebanding sama kesedihan gue /asik/ gimana si denger nenek kesayangan lo di omongin dibelakang sama orang2 yang nenek lo sayang gila2an. Kampret ah. Then your angel mommy and daddy dikata2in sama tante2 lu?. Pengen bunuh diri gak si?hahaha lebay si tapi okay done:3 i know adult are fuck now, okay not all i believe that tapi gue sekarang udah cuma harus fokus sama yg gue pengen di hidup gue, TALK LESS DO MORE, AND PROOF not revenge sah thats just take a sin. Allah is giving extraordinary things to extraordinary people...:). Tapi kalo yg tentang yangti belom beres loh ya sampe meereka nyesel:3 kalo tentang umi abi digituin sih udah cukup jelas lah they TOTALLY dont such better than them haha. Maaf ya Allah abis orang2 itu kok begitu banget:( i love Allah more than any... fighting!:)

I dont care about how fuck are they:)
11.24

I dont care about how fuck are they:)