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i have no idea

its been gone to far.. bingung mau ngekspreksiinnya gimana pake kata kata kalimatnya saya rumit rumitin aja ya hehe.. i dont know its feels like this is not supposed to happen but i dont know aarghhh im like in something i didnt realize? well i do realize but i wont let me in it.. this is awkward for me.. altough this is my first-_- but my first is.. waaaaa i dont know what to explain anymore okay im trying to love somebody here, i know its not like what i thought but its like whats on my mind a years ago about this..